When your employerâs promises turn out to be "smoke & mirrors"
By Joan Lloyd
Dear Joan:
I accepted my current position four years ago, with the
understanding I would be promoted after a one year "mentoring"
period. That promotion never came and it now appears it will
never come, as I now feel it was never really intended to
happen. Yes, I have asked numerous times and there's always
an excuse.
My boss is a male and it appears, after now being employed
here for four years, that few women hold top management
positions. I was told that 30 percent of the managers here
were female. That simply is not true. Each of my
performance evaluations since joining this company has been very
positive with performer ratings. I have a very good
relationship with the staff and especially good with those who
report directly to me.
I continue to work very hard for this company, even though I
have absolutely no trust in my boss. I respect his position
here and know that he is the BOSS but I have no respect for him due
to his deceitfulness.
My entire career has been in this particular area of expertise
and I have worked harder than any man would have to in order to
reach this career level. I left a well respected, competing
company after twelve years to accept this position because of what
was presented as a wonderful opportunity.
Unfortunately, I now realize it was all "smoke &
mirrors."
I shared with the company I worked for, as well as my family
and friends, that I would become the manager after one year.
This has been somewhat of an embarrassment as well. I try to
remain very positive as I work with a great group of people,
however, it is very difficult at times.
I would appreciate your comments and/or any advice you may
have to offer. Thank you.
Answer:
Unfortunately, some people will promise anything—a
future promotion, a salary increase, tuition money—to get a
candidate to say “Yes.” Then, once the person is in the
job, they relax and forget all about their promise. The interesting
thing about your situation is that you stayed in spite of the years
of excuses.
The problem is that the feelings of betrayal create the
emotions you describe. You don’t respect him and you think he
lies. The vicious circle is that he probably can sense your
resentment and that will prevent him from recommending you for
promotion (if indeed he ever meant to promote you in the first
place).
If he (and his fellow male counterparts) really don’t
care to promote capable women, slaving away for years isn’t
going to make any difference. The question to ask yourself is,
“Do I want to advance, or don’t I?” You left a
good employer after twelve years to move up but now you
haven’t left for four years in spite of this broken
promise.
